The Exorcism of Fancy Rae

Today was Miss Fancy Pants' surgery for her tubes. It wasn't really "that" bad except for the 30 minutes following the actual procedure. But before I get to that let's discuss a couple of things. First, we were told to get there at 6:15 to check in and pay (I had already pre-registered her so there was no paperwork to fill out).  I noticed on the consent form that it still had the adenoidectomy listed as one of the procedures even after I had called and spoken to the doctor's office about me really not wanting to do that today.  See, I am flying alone with her again this week, and call me crazy, but I just didn't want to run the risk of being a mile high and have her start hemorrhaging blood, or be stuck in Dallas with no transportation and in need of medical attention. I know, I'm such a wuss.  Anyway, I politely told the lady "she's not getting her adenoids out today and the doctor's office said they were going to fax a new order over." Her response? "Well, we will do whatever is on the order." This is when I'm like "what the hell? I'm her mother and I JUST told you that no, in fact, you will not be removing that part of my child's body today and your answer is 'I will do what is on the sheet?'" Lord help us. I wanted to ask her if I came in with a broken right arm and the order said, through human error, that they were to set the left arm if that is what they would do. IDIOTS!

Okay, enough of that. But THEN, the Medicaid patient sitting there was acting all pissed because her 5 year old daughter had to wait her turn to get tubes put in. I wanted to scream at her too. "Oh really? You don't want to wait? Why? It's not like you have a job to go to! You know what I want? I want your lazy ass to not whine since I just paid $567.63 for my daughter to have tubes put in as well as part of the cost of your daughter's tubes!" People are truly assholes.

So here is Fancy pre-surgery.

Anyone who has met this child knows she has a "slight" tendency to be very vocal with her opinions. I guess I don't need to go into the 5-alarm meltdown that commenced when the anesthesiologist (who happened to be a very nice, yet very burly looking man) picked her up and took her to the OR.  My favorite was when he turned around and said "don't worry, if she screams like this it will knock her out faster." Really? Was there not a more delicate way of putting that?

To recap thus far, we check in at 6:15 and she finally goes into the OR at around 7:40 and at 7:40:37 they call us back again to say she is done and in recovery. Okay, so it took more than 37 seconds, but it was literally about a 5 minute procedure. The doc said her ears were "horrible" but these should help her lots. I so wish she hadn't been in daycare for the first year of her life, but what can you do? We then walk into to recovery and I swear to you the child was a NIGHTMARE! They said it's normal when they come off of anesthesia, but lawsy. I could not hold her. She was biting her fingers, throwing her head back and forth, bleeding all over my shirt from the biting. When she finally calmed down I took a deep breath and proclaimed "I have EXORCISED the demons!" (Not really, but if there was ever an appropriate time to utter that phrase it would have been this morning.)

We are now home and she is on hour 1 of her nap--I'm hoping she hits a triple today. All was right with her world when we got home and she got to eat MickeyD's pancakes!

I really am glad she has tubes because I do think it will help immensely, especially when we fly, but I'm not sure I can handle that 30 minutes in recovery again.