I've been putting off this post because I really just don't know what to say about Christmas. It was heartbreaking not having Rob here to celebrate the holiday with. I missed our late night movie marathons, talks about nothing and everything. I missed he wasn't there to feed Emma sugar cookies on demand. I missed him not being there to laugh at Ethan's antics (the kid is really funny).
Sometimes I feel like people expect Jared and I to just "get over" Rob's death. And I know this is mainly because many people have no idea what it's like to lose someone who is such an integral part of who you are. After all, he was only our brother. He wasn't a spouse or a child. And I understand that thought process to a certain point. But my brothers are so much a part of my life that now that one of them is no longer here, I feel like I'm trying to figure out a new identity. Rob and Jared have been in my life since the day I was born, and I expected both of them to be a part of my life for my entire lifetime. Of course we had our share of fights as kids (who doesn't), but somehow we emerged into adulthood as good friends. Happy for each other's successes and sorrowful when things didn't go well.
I know Christmas is a time of hope. Hope that our faith will somehow lead us to our eternal life when there will be no more sadness and sorrow...
"Mickey Mouse!"
"Another Mickey Mouse!!!"
Matt and I totally redeemed ourselves with Ethan this year. Last year we got him a ton of Gap clothes that I thought were super cute. Looking back, I realize how retarded it was to get a 4 year old clothes and expect him to appreciate it. This year, he got what he wanted. An Air Swimmer. Whew!
The girl LOVES Mickey Mouse!
Her Harley. She is not a fan.
Hasn't ridden it since Christmas Day. She's scared of it. Ethan rode it and I thought that would make her want to. Not so much. I think she was hoping Ethan would take it home. Hopefully she'll come around.
Please pray for us. The paci is disappearing soon.
(Also, don't mind my outfit)
"...and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
Revelations 21:4
No comments:
Post a Comment